We’re not sure what we were expecting when we heard that Harry Styles was going to be hosting SNL, but we can honestly say that Harry’s performance topped anything that we could have ever imagined.
Although the entire show was an absolute win in our book for Harry, there were certain lines and moments that were our absolute fave…
Harry first appeared playing the piano, and some of his funniest jokes were slipped in during such. The one that had me in a fit of giggles first, though, was when Harry slipped in the quick one liner “y’know, in England we play piano on the other side of the road.”
Harry Teases A One Direction Reunion On Stage
While he was at the piano, Harry played homage to his One Direction roots. He reminded the crowd that he was once in a boy band – and that he is now in a man band – and then teased fans like myself with “how crazy would it be if they were here tonight?” accompanied by a suggestive glance.
“They’re not” he then followed, to our dismay.
“Wouldn’t it be crazy if they were though?” he teased again, with yet another suggestive glance to the side.
Ouch, Harry, that one stung.
But nothing could have possibly stung more than when Harry threw possible shade Zayn‘s way. He listed off the 1D boys one by one, saying “I love those guys. They’re like my brothers. Niall, Liam, Louis, and, uh, Ringo.” Of course, Harry could be referring to the fact that Ringo was the first to leave the Beatles, but with his sassy self, you can never be too sure!
Harry ended his One Direction portion of his jokes with another quick one-liner, joking that he was “just so grateful that Simon Cowell grew [him and the One Direction boys] in those test tubes.” Us too, Harry.
Harry then went on to discuss music, calling it the ‘universal language’ before quickly following up with “especially songs performed in English cause that’s the only language I understand.” We don’t know when Harry got this funny, but we have been laughing at his one-liners all night.
Even Harry Loves Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich
After his time spent at the piano, Harry went on to perform skits with the rest of the cast. The first came in the form of a parody advertisement for a coming Disney+ show, White Get Out. Here, Harry played the innocent office intern Robert E Lee, determined to set out and buy 15 Popeye’s chicken sandwiches. Yum!
However, as we all know, Popeye’s chicken sandwich has caused quite the buzz, and getting your hands on more than one, especially 15, is sure to cause an ugly scene. The cast quickly shot down his idea, with the janitor even warning him that he’d get killed. Oh my! The other office employees set the record straight, joking they could not just go into Whole Foods and buy the rest of the White Claws, after saying that “there’s not many things that our people get first dibs on, but the Popeye’s chicken sandwich – that’s one of them.” Damn right.
Ruff day, Harry?
The next skit comes in the form of a musical. A woman named Joan is seen singing to her beloved 12 pound Chihuahua after her boyfriend Steve left her, claiming that her dog is his new boyfriend. The scene takes a quick twist as Harry appears in the dog’s clothing. Harry can be seen eating toilet paper out of the garbage, and cowering in a corner when the vacuum is on.
If you ask us, we think Harry played the part of a dog a bit too well.
Harry sings along, but before he must turn back into a dog, Harry fesses up, and tells Joan “I ate two pairs of your socks and three pairs of your underwear. It caused a blockage in my intestine that will cost you $8,000”
Yup, he definitely played the part of a dog a little too well.
Don’t Mess With Haz
This skit is arguably the least-Harry we have ever seen him. He takes on the dim-witted role of a thug in a gang that attempts a mutiny against the boss and didn’t quite go to plan…
Harry Takes On Childbirth
Well, kind of.
The next skit Harry appears in a blonde wig – that he looked way too good in, btw – sitting in a childbirth class. The women go down the line, stating the feel uncomfortable in their bodies, but when it comes to Harry’s partner, she is feeling “cute” which Harry quickly corrects her, saying “sorry, she learned English on Instagram. She’s been feeling, how do you say, sexy as hell.” SLAY.
The pair then reveal they have traveled here from Iceland on lip-syncing visas. They then demonstrate their lip-syncing talents with a quick performance of “I Can’t Feel My Face” in which Harry’s partner covers her mouth and sings, whilst Harry lip-syncs a bit offbeat.
Harry then offers the nervous fathers to be, telling them “the sky is the limit on dadding,” before demonstrating a funky sex position next. Great advice, Haz.
Harry appears as a pilot in his next skit. The pair exchange stories on their lack of sex, revealing that they have the hots for the ladies of the Mystery Gang. The pair continue to talk about the ladies appearing on Scooby-Doo, detailing what it would be like if Shaggy and Wilma, ahem, shagged, totally unaware of the fact that the entire cabin is listening to their conversation, as their microphone is still on.
Harry and his co-pilot then continue to make the flight cabin anxious whilst trying to calm them down, but only make them more anxious as they get the flight destination incorrect, call the plane old, and refer to the flight as a Jet Blue flight, even though it was not. Don’t quit your day job, Harry.
Harry’s First Performance of ‘Lights Up’
Harry performed a totally stripped down version of ‘Lights Up,’ and we were totally blown away. We have been patiently waiting to hear how Harry was going to perform his new hit live, and we were anything but disappointed. Between the gorgeous choir-like backing vocals and Harry’s angelic voice, we were even more in love with the song than we already were, and we truly did not think that was possible, tbh.
Let’s Get This Bread
Harry then participated in a skit in which he worked for the social media team for SaraLee Bread. Harry is caught red-handed on one of Nick Jonas’ posts, commenting from the SaraLee Bread’s account “wreck me, daddy,” and “destroy me, king.” Literally me.
He was then caught commenting three eggplant emojis, one waterdrop emoji, one train emoji, and a ghost emoji under a man’s photo on the Saralee bread account. Harry admits the emojis were code for “getting railed to death.”
Harry was also responsible for captioning a photo of Texas Toast on SaraLee’s Instagram account “feeling really depressed after threesome. What was supposed to be a fantasy ended up more rejection. Must get rid of toxic in the community.”
The icing on the cake? A photo of cheesecake that Harry captioned “A little moody after being used. Why do guys freak out when I ask them to spit in my mouth? Need a real king that can handle. It’s 8 am and have to go to hell job at Sara Lee. A little in my head after another threesome.”
Harry closed the scene, fessing up to DMing Shawn Mendez “check out this special holiday promotion” along with a photo of his open throat. Busted, you cheeky boy.
The not-so-perfect send-off
Having Harry Styles at your funeral to celebrate your life sounds like the afterlife dream, right? Total bragging rights to any and every person you meet in whatever life there is after this one. Except, maybe not. Harry becomes half of an unusual yet iconic duo who are classed as “funeral DJs” to add a little bit more life (pardon the pun) into your memorial.
Placing their laptop full of techno-beats on top of the coffin, he and his “twin” attempt to get the party started at someone’s nanna’s funeral and it is truly hilarious. The best bit? Well, watch to the end…
Oh baby, no…
This skit sees Mr Styles take on the role of a once-well loved vaudeville act of the early 20th century where (not-so) Baby Faye and her newsboys try to cash in the money years after they’ve outgrown the show. The entire thing is a total disaster and though it’s merely a skit, we feel total second-hand embarrassment! But hey, Harry looks so freaking cute in his costume, so we can live for that.
Premiere of ‘Watermelon Sugar’
Harry closed the night off with the sweetest treat: the release of ‘Watermelon Sugar.’ Harry performed the new single live to close the show, and he also dropped the studio version. We can only handle so much at one time, Harry! We are begging you for mercy here!
Harry dressed to the occasion, wearing a gorgeous pink suit with a black tie that just oozed watermelon vibes. We stan.
Moral of the story? Harry Styles killed it and we are even more in love with this man than we were before. God, help us.
What did you think about Harry’s feature of SNL? Have you listened to ‘Watermelon Sugar’ yet? Let us know by dropping us a comment, or tweet us @TheHoneyPOP!
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