We love it when an artist unapologetically pours their entire soul into their music, and sadeyes is one of the best examples in that department. Raw tracks like ‘dear labels’ and ‘home isn’t home’ have been staples on our late-night cry playlists, but we’ve never heard anything quite like his new EP, patient death, which touches on everything from agonizing heartbreak to a pain that might even be worse: losing touch with yourself.
Every moment of patient death simultaneously feels like a punch to the gut and a warm hug from a friend telling you that you’re not alone. Whether you’re already a sadeyes fan or this is your first time listening, we guarantee that this EP will be among your favorite projects of the year. Each song is so thoughtfully put together, from the stinging lyrics to small production details that help tell the story.
Progress isn’t linear but people tend to run in circles and expect change. You have to move in different directions if you want different results. This EP is a reflection of me taking a new path to progression.
Content Warning: This article touches on mental health, unhealthy eating habits, drug/alcohol use, and mentions death surrounding a song with “suicide” in the title. Please read with caution!
When the EP kicks off with ‘identity theft,’ sadeyes is starting to lose sight of who he truly is as he realizes someone close to him doesn’t care how he’s feeling, noting that he hasn’t “felt [him]self in months” and is “on the brink of giving up,” a lyric that comes back later on ‘bondbreaker.’ Meanwhile, he sings about a girl who “got a phone but it don’t ever ring, she got a lot of friends but it’s always DND,” which contrasts later songs that touch on sadeyes’ feelings of loneliness as he drifts from his own friends. This song is also where we get introduced to the titular concept of the EP – sadeyes is exploring “a patient death of who [he] was” and taking us along for the ride.
Like with the friendship mention, contrast is a big theme on the first few songs of the EP, especially on ‘paper weight.’ First off, the paper vs. weight imagery reflects how sadeyes is feeling down in a relationship, and he uses that imagery to showcase how he feels frail like paper, but also like he’s being a weight or burden on this person who “needed more than” he could truly give them. This song is also where we start to see how he began neglecting his well-being as he grappled with these tough emotions, hinting at unhealthy eating habits as he laments “I’m thinner every day… I can’t stand what I see now in the mirror. Who is that? I wanna freak out.”
sadeyes starts to really process and accept that this relationship is nothing but trouble on ‘toothfairy,’ when he directly admits, “I know I’m not someone you love, I’m just your friendly decor… You always made me feel important, but you don’t anymore.” It’s heartbreaking, but cathartic in a way, feeling like that sigh of relief you let out after admitting your true feelings. As the situation falls apart, sadeyes starts to turn to unhealthy escapism to numb his feelings, saying he’ll “take anything to kill the pain.”
It’s also worth noting that there’s a bit of a miscommunication theme on the project, particularly on this song and ‘identity theft,’ and it leads us to believe that the lack of communication and sadeyes’ fears that he won’t have his feelings understood really contributed to the loss of self that he feels. On ‘identity theft,’ you hear about a girl who doesn’t mind ignoring her friends’ messages, even as her phone keeps buzzing in the instrumental, and on ‘toothfairy,’ there are backing vocals saying “hello, hello,” as if you’re speaking into a phone and trying to see if the person on the other end hears you.
We return to the “I’m on the brink of giving up” lyric in the intro of ‘bondbreaker,’ before sludgy guitars pop up and mirror the messy headspace sadeyes is in. The song sees sadeyes reflecting on how he’s “been distant since the day [he] had to walk away” from that relationship, losing sleep and drifting away from his friends. At this point, he’s not only broken bonds with his ex and his friends, but also himself as the world around him crashes. The song closes with the lyric “this is patient death,” bringing the theme of losing yourself and feeling like your past self died to the forefront.
‘on one’ touches on the escapist side of the album and how sadeyes turns to substances to get away from what he’s going through, even if just for a little while. It really showcases how the relationship from earlier has affected him, and he confesses, “Why can’t I remember what it feels like to be strong? You were all I ever wanted, now I want nothing at all.” It also continues the loss of self theme, calling out sadeyes’ ex and insisting they “took the [him he] can’t get back” in a devastating display of vulnerability.
The EP wraps up with ‘this is suicide,’ which does touch on death, but not in the way you think. This track is where sadeyes truly starts to step away from his past life and let it die as he heads towards a better future. “Killing who I am, see you on the other side,” he says in a triumphant, phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes moment. He decides he “can’t sing another song about [his] sh*tty life” and pledges to start making changes to fix things, no matter how hard it gets. An important encouragement for anyone who listens!
We’ve loved everything sadeyes has put out so far, but patient death and the songs on it are our favorites, hands down. This EP truly shows off the next level of his artistry and takes us right into his story and perspective like never before. patient death is a project that will help so many people feel less alone in what they’re going through, and even with the heavier energy, that’s something to celebrate.
Now we wanna hear from you! Which song from patient death is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below or hit us up on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! And for more sweet music recs you need in your life, click here.