We’ve all marked the concert into the Countdown app. We’ve planned the outfits. We’ve thrown boas and pink cowboy hats into our suitcases. Just as we’ve crafted the perfect exchange, line by line, of exactly what we’d say if they ever spared a glance in our direction, and we’re really hoping here! However, as the harmonies sync up to the phone-lit torches swaying in the air, we haven’t thought of this unplanned variable: our mothers. Yep! Nowhere between our glitter-scrawled signs and near-perfect encyclopedic fangirl brains did we ever believe that golden boy or girl or whoever is your celebrity crush would go home with her, of all people. Can we say, “ew?”
So, rather than being their destined soulmate, we’re rewinding on the already picked-out acoustic rendition of our favorite song on their discographies. You know, since our mothers are making that waltz down the aisle, meeting our bagsied beau— in this case, it’s Izzy’s portrayed by Ella Rubin. Her celebrity crush is Hayes Campbell; it’s more like Nicholas Galitzine taking out the temporary tattoo gun to ink himself into a Wattpad version of Harry Styles.
Hayes is a part of The Idea of You’s fictional band August Moon, which has five members. With the promotional shoots looking like they came from the One Direction archives with similar poses, you understand the inspo. Hayes meets Izzy’s mother, Sophie, played by Anne Hathaway, at Coachella, thus starting their love affair, which Izzy will have to scrub out of her memory for eternity. How long would she sit on the therapist’s couch to transition from celebrity crush to about-to-be dad?
Preparing For The Insane Variable
Unfortunately, this is only one of the many ways our mothers can rip this prized moment from our hands. So, to prepare us, we’ve thought up five other ways this cross-our-hearts-in-hopes-that-it-never-happens situation can play out.
Stumbling Through The Twitter DMs
We’ve done it, you’ve done it, and now your mother is probably doing it thanks to The Idea of You. Granted, this one will probably hurt even worse because you taught her how to use the app. But can you really blame her if she starts twiddling her thumbs and typing away? Perhaps that first message was in your favor, wanting to tell them all the wonderful ways they’ve improved their child’s, aka your life, before it escalates from there.
Actually, That Was My Name On The Coffee Cup, Mom
Like us, celebrities also frequent coffee shops. So it’s only natural to have daydreams that they accidentally grab your order only to exchange it with you later. Now, add our mothers into the equation. We’ll give her the benefit of the doubt, of course. She probably does have the best intentions, ala grabbing your proper order as you scroll your favorite stan account. Still, when that time comes, and you’re ready to have that meet-cute moment with your crush, it won’t be you talking to them. It’ll be her. Hence, being the exact story she’ll recount on their wedding day.
Through Trading Friendship Bracelets
The resurgence of friendship bracelets due to Taylor Swift’s ‘You’re on Your Own, Kid’ lyric means we’re learning new skills. Flowers made out of 2mm beads? We’ve got you. How about wavy words? You know exactly what we mean and have probably already made a few. We’re so into it that we’ve organized letter beads according to the alphabet; even if we miss one, we can easily turn that P into a B with a magic marker. However, we might not be able to undo the moment our mothers give our celebrity crush a friendship bracelet with their number on it…
By Singing Along To The Only Song They Know On The Setlist
What started as having Genius lyrics in one tab and Spotify in the other has ended up with you memorizing the songs so well that you can efficiently complete a fill-in-the-blanks pop quiz in no time. Your mother, on the other hand, may only know the radio hit. That’s understandable, right, seeing as she’s just your tag-along? That is, of course, until you get floor seats. Precisely as she’s belting out that solitary banger, your celebrity crush and her eyes meet. Oh, well. At least you’ll know the exact words to sing when they’re playing at their wedding reception.
Those Serendipitous Encounters
Now, sometimes, there are just those moments of pure luck. Obsessive thinking led them to stand right before you on a street corner. That can happen, and if it does, you’ll become a master manifester! Except, maybe, close to because she’s there too. Before long, it’s not that you’re hoping for the traffic light not to turn. It’s that you’re hoping she can walk to the car.
If that doesn’t have you shutting down every The Idea of You tab in existence and instead settling into the idea that we might just have a nightmare or two after watching the movie, then we have the 4-1-1 for you! The global release date for starters is May 2, 2024, available on Prime Video. However, If you attend the SXSW Festival, it’ll be the closing film on March 16, a week away. The director, Michael Showalter, will also be in attendance.
And if you’re like us and reminiscing on those legendary boy-bander days, the pop-buzzed ‘Dance Before We Walk’ from August Moon is out now! Tweet us @thehoneypop with your favorite lyric.
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